| Saras: | You've got breasts, if there's an awkward silence you can just point to them and go 'HUH'. |
|---|---|
| Me: | I don't think you understand how an awkward person works... |
| Saras: | I don't think you have embraced your breasts' potential as conversation topics. |
| Saras: | I don't want to have my feet outside of the bed in case there is a monster. |
|---|
| Saras: | Move over! |
|---|---|
| Me: | You've got half the bed already! |
| Saras: | *breaks down in giggles* |
| Saras: | I was talking to the iPad. |
| Saras: | How sad isn't that? |
I always answer 3 am calls.
| Saras: | Why are you sleeping? |
|---|---|
| Me: | It's 3 am on a Tuesday. |
| Saras: | Oh. What day is it tomorrow? |
| Me: | .......Wednesday... |
| Saras: | okay. |
| Me: | |
| Saras: | Do you have anything tomorrow? |
| Me: | No. |
| Sara's: | Oh good, then I don't have to feel bad for waking you up. |
To her defence, they were from the drawer.
| Me: | Well, at least we can't say that you're not an interesting date! |
|---|---|
| Saras: | What! I'm an interesting date! Do you want to see my panties? |
| Me: | *bursts out laughing* |
| Saras: | |
| Me: | |
| Saras: | Look, aren't they fun!? |
| Saras: | THE CHIPS HAVE LEAKED ONTO MY PURSE IN THE PLASTIC BAG. |
|---|---|
| Me: | Oh no. |
| Saras: | This is my life, who cares if I fell and scraped my life, the CHIPS HAVE LEAKED. |
| Me: | |
| Saras: | |
| Me: | |
| Saras: | The chips leaked. |
| Me: | WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ WHAT I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR? |
|---|---|
| Saras: | Not really. |
| Me: | Fine. |
| Saras: | Is it Johnlock porn? |
| Me: | No. |
| Saras: | A little bit. |
| Me: | Why would my Frankenstein essay have Johnlock porn!? |
Urgh, do I have to heimlich you, that would be so annoying.
For my birthday Saras got me a jar of quotes I should take up one by one when I wasn’t feeling fantastic, and the last two have been great.
| Saras: | BASILISK IN YOUR CHAMBER |
|---|---|
| Ellen: | OF SECRETS |
| Ellen: | BROOM IN YOUR CUPBOARD |
| Saras: | BROOM IN YOUR QUIDDITCH HOOP |
| Saras: | OMG ELLEN |
| Saras: | GREAT MINDS |
| Ellen: | THINK ALIKE |
| Saras: | PUT YOUR CHAMPION IN MY GOBLET OF FIRE |
| Saras: | PUT YOUR HALF BLOOD PRINCE IN MY DEATHLY HALLOW |
| Ellen: | LET ME PET YOUR DRAGON |
| Saras: | VISIT HER RESTRICTED SECTION |
| Ellen: | FEED THE UNICORN |
| Saras: | POP MY GOLDEN SNITCH |
| Ellen: | BLOCK HER SECRET ENTRANCE |
| Saras: | WHOMP MY WILLOW |
| Ellen: | TEABAGGING HIS PHILOSOPHERS STONES |
| Ellen: | That was bad. |
| Ellen: | Should have been something about tea-leaves. |
| Ellen: | And then the stones. |
